I’m witnessing a friend going through some serious heartbreak right now. And ohhhh, my heart aches for her. Over the past several months I’ve watched her bravely give herself to love, surrender to the sweetness of togetherness and the hope that it would be of the sustainable sort. I watched her stick with it longer than it felt comfortable because she wanted to make sure that she wasn’t just running out of fear or ancient programming.

And I watched her be honest with herself and the man she was smitten with. She was courageous and vulnerable and let him know that she was not receiving what she wanted from the relationship. That the effort felt really lopsided. Hoping, of course, that he was invested in it enough to unlopside it. But for whatever reason, he wasn’t.

[We may not know the reason he wasn’t motivated to step it up a notch, but we…